When Sylvester Stallone first announced The Expendables and the casting started to materialise, it looked like your dream action gang come true: former ‘80s hasbeens (Stallone himself, Dolph Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts), martial arts-capable actors (Jet Li, Jason Statham), a couple of wrestlers (Steve Austin, Randy Couture). But watching the final product is an entirely different thing: the cast spend too much time fighting for screen time, and are too busy winking at each other to make a good action movie, especially when its musty, lazily plotted men-on-a-mission narrative isn’t going to keep us absorbed. It’s definitely a step down from the straightforward visceral thrills of Stallone’s Rambo, and though the action comes fast and violent, there’s too much chaotic editing going on to see what’s happening. Li, again, is sadly wasted in a nothing role where he gets to be the butt of jokes about his size. And the cameos from Arnie and Bruce Willis? Meh. Even at 90 minutes, The Expendables feels bloated and had me wishing I was rewatching Commando instead.